Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
