i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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