Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize