Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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