I wish I only lived at night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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