let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
