Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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