Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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