dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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We're using joints as your birthday candles
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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