we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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