Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
