he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
