i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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