I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
