At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
