She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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