I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
