I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
