If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Operation Purity has been aborted
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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