Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
