I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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