morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
