dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize