Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
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This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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