Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
