new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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