I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
