Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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