I showed him my bush... on skype.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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