I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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