Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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