Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
