Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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