if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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