I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.