So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dating After Heartbreak
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.