No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
