Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
