love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
