no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
