doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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