Do you still have your period?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
