9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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