Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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