A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
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I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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