Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize