somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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