screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
