I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
