i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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