Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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