someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize