Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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