sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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