Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize