No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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