just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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